SalfordOnline

Your local community website

Username:      Password:       

Home Page Latest News Salford News Salford Videos Editor's Choice Blogs Articles Business Section Clubs and Reunions Education News Entertainment News Events Calendar Forever Remembered GM Fire GM Police Health Housing Law And Order Lifestyles Motoring Music News Photo Archives Public Notices Salford Sport Guestbook Send a Postcard

Enter your search terms
Salfordonline
Web
Submit search form

Madonna When Madonna first moved to England, she said she wanted to feel more English. She is now an unmarried single mother with three kids from different fathers, one of them black. Job done. ( Click for More Information ) Huge Water Bills Jennifer and Jim kept getting huge water bills. They knew beyond a doubt that the bills weren't representative of their actual us... Viva La France An American is having breakfast, in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubbl... When you have an 'I Hate... Try this out: On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermo... How to be Annoying Online 1. Make up fake acronyms. Online veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) or RTFM (read the fucking man... Simple Jokes Rolls Royce Loan A businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on... Political Theories As Explained By Cows FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires yo... 10 more words that don't exist,... 1. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. ... A Few Words of Wisdom -... This excellent advice was written by Charles Sykes in his book 'Dumbing down our Kids' perhaps it should be handed to every young... The Titanic Test Recently a teacher, a dustbin man (sorry- waste disposal operative), and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter... Teenage Rules Raising teenagers is a challenge, so my hubby and I came up with the following rules to help the kids understand what was expected... Blonde Wants A Loan A blonde walks into a bank in the City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks a... 2008's First Christmas Joke - ... Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said... 10 Words that should exist, but... 1. AQUADEXTROUS adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION n. The a... Eric and Jenny Little Eric and Jenny were only 10 years old, but they knew they were in love. One day they decided that they wanted to get marrie... Doctor Visit A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?" The mother says, "... Spin The Black Circle This game is very hard. It is very unlikely that you are able to complete all the levels today. You Can quit playing at any time a... George Carlin's Views on Aging If you don't read this to the very end, you have lost a day in your life. And when you have finished, do as I am doing and send it... Thar She Blows! (OK, that was... A 56-foot, 60-ton sperm whale died on a beach in Taiwan in January, 2004. Researchers wanted the carcass to perform an autopsy and... Strangest Suicide in History? At the 1994 annual awards dinner given by the American Association for Forensic Science, AAFS President Don Harper Mills astounded... Drum Machineby tokyoplastic This is great Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang... Excitement is growing in the city of Huddlesfield following news that local atheist Donald Chapman saw an image of the Big-Bang in... Aquariass - Aquarium toilet Only in America! Add a little life to your bathroom with this live aquarium. The fully functioning tank fits American Standard bow... Mister Nice Hands Are you in the mood for a little childish humour? MESSAGE TO THE AUSTRALIAN PUBLIC The federal government is sending each and every one of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at K-Mart, the money will go t... I kid you not... New... California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have develo... FROM: The Dog To God -... Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed? TO: GOD Dear God: Why do humans smell the flower... Rubber Gloves - thanks to the... Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this: A dentist noticed that his next patient, ... Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth... In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner... Double Picture Illusion Look carefuly at this picture, what do you see? After you make your decision, scroll down for an explanation. You saw a coupl... Adam & Eve In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds,... A German Guy Approaches a Lady... 'I vish to buy sex viz you.' 'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge 20 an hour.' '..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little ... A Womans Tale When you have to visit a public toilet, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's you... I Am Passing This On So... When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn't hold my tummy in to wear a belted dress. But now tha... Top 10 Excuses For Getting Out... We've all been there: it's a beautiful day and you can't bear the thought of going into work. So you call in with the lame-old exc... This is Cool Simple but clever You Can't Fix Stupid With thanks to Andrew for these little gems! Ex Girlfriend This morning I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around. We... Success: At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants. At age 12 success is . . . having friends. At age 17 success is . . ... The Four Stages Of Life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Cla... Great Truths About Growing Old 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3)... Great Truths That Adults Have Learned: 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, w... Great Truths That Little Children Have... 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats. 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. ... Hello, I'm the Friggin' Happiness Fairy I've sprinkled Happy dust on you So smile dammit. This shit is expensive!! Fun Things You can do with... Go on - give it a try! Live Long Enough to be... I think theses are photos from the David Walker family album ..................... in fact I think one of the photograpghs IS Davi... They Walk Among Us: Other Stupid... Yep, they sure do walk among us. And they also reproduce! While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direc... Idiotic 'Millionaire' Contestant Makes Worst... Kathy Evans, the single dumbest contestant to ever get on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?' Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought hum... Things You Probably Already Know, But... Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper. The dot... Quirky Zoo Signs Who says only those in the creative industry are creative? Check out these hilarious zoo signs that surely convey their message mu... Displaying A Bit of Fun Items 1 - 50 of 50

About Us - Contact Us - Faq's
Advertising: Join Us - Payments - Advertisers